Topic: WHAT WOULD YOU DO IN MY SHOES (ADVICE)
- Dec 28, 2007 03:22am by dirge
This is personal and has nothing to do with Hip Hop. I'm going to reget doing this but.....
WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WERE BEING STALKED?
Here's the story. My name is Clarence aka Vertigone if you didn't know.
I've been being stalked for the past 3 years.
I dated this chick for about 6 months and she had some issues. Family issues, money issues, work issues, emotional issues and more.
I diidn't really find out about these issues until the relationship had progressed a bit and needless to say, I got a little freaked out and pretty much went from nice boyfriend to crazy, annoyed and need my space boyfriend. Finally, we broke up. I wanted to end the relationship before hand but I had really wanted to help her out and I did have feelings for her.
Instead of getting help for her problems and moving on with her life. She called me 100 times a day until I lost my mind and screamed curses everytime she called. i don't want to give the illusion that I was totally innocent in the insanity that was this relationship but I couldn't play ball anymore and I really acted out.
Well, I don't know if you all remember but The Guild used to have a website and forum called itstheguild.com. A lady put a topic on that forum calling me cute and then...BOOM!
Someone anonymously started another topic calling me terrible names and talking just about as much trash that you can talk on one man.
Then I started getting emails from an anonymous person telling me that they would ruin any chance of a happy relationship that I would ever have.
I responded back and so went a back and forth for about a month. This was right before myself and Ms. Issues broke up so I didn't think that it was her. I thought it was another girl that i dated right before Ms. Issues who was very young and we didn't see eye to eye. I was wrong!
Then started the phone calls. Phone calls at all hours of the night. All anonymous and everytime that I picked them up, I could hear someone on the other end breathing and listening.
I lived with CES Cru at the time and soon after, we all moved and I took up residence in South KC. One night, I woke up and went to grab a cd from my car. The locks had been super glued and the seals over the windows had also been super glued and my licence plate had been ripped off. There was only a jagged piece of metal left from the bracket.
I'm freaked out at this point because only a few people knew where I lived and I hardly had anyone over. I changed my phone number and fixed my car so I thought that I was straight. Whatever I had done to make a person sneak over my house and trash my car should have been resolved by then. Eye for an eye, right? Wrong!
Somehow this person got my new number and started sending anonymous text messages to my phone. How the hell do you do that anyway? I got more hangup phone calls everynight and started getting anonymous phone calls to my job. I was getting calls from 2 in the morning until 2 the next morning. I called my phone company to see what they could do about it and they told me that they could change my number. So I changed my number and she had it within a week.
After work one night, I walked out to my car and the tire was slashed. A week later after fixing the first, another tire was slashed. A few weeks after that, A rock was thrown through my side window. A few days after that, my spare tire was slashed and someone broke into my car through the broken window.
All the while, I'm getting more calls and more hateful text messages and then hateful myspace messages and more emails. She went from missing me and wanting to kill herself, to she's going to kill me and then to calling me the N word. I called the cops. I'd been in contact with the police asking what I should do and all they told me was to call them if any damage was done to my property or vehicles. They said that they couldn't do anything about the threatening messages. The told me that there was no way for them to track them. BOO! I figured if I were doing this to someone else, I'd be in jail by then. One cop told me that i should feel lucky that someone's thinking of me. I about lost it!
Fast forward to St. Patrick's Day of this year. There had been more stuff done but it's pretty much more of the same. My room mate called me at the end of my shift freaking out. Someone had cut holes in my screens over my house windows and attempted to get inside my house. They also shredded the vinyl lawn furniture on my porch and dumped about 100 wooden matches on the porch. i called the police and it was more of the same.
Later, my room mate goes to work and comes out of her job and there was a death threat on her car. She changed jobs a few months later and there was another one on her car. She also had her locks super glued.
I started driving a minivan and one day I noticed the locks with an hard trail down on the door. One night, I notice my doorlock wasn't locked in my van. I get inside and there is lipstick on the windows. This woman broke into my van and kissed the inside of the windows 15 times (I counted.) I called the police...more of the same. I took a printoff of the death threats that i was getting from myspace and my email address to the police department and they told me that if i caught her in the act I could file for a restraining order. That's all. Since i have yet to catch her thus far, I still don't have a restraining order. They tell me to hire a private investigator or get a security camera and since i'm poor, I haven't done it.
Later, my myspace gets hacked and my email address. She's been sending messages to people to show up randomly at my place. Nobody knows where I live so nobody shows but I get calls from them asking why I'm such a freak. Later i get home from work and written in lipstick on my glass door in big letters is....DIE NIGGER. I clean it off. A few weeks later, I get home from work and written on the glass door again is.... U DIE 2 NITE NIGGER. Call the cops for both of these and it's still more of the same.
Fast forward to three weeks ago. My room mate picks me up from work and to my disbelief...written on my house is....... FAT NIGGER in permanent marker. I opened the door and written on the door was... UGLY FAT NIGGER. Call the police, more of the same. They tell me again, catch her in the act and you can get a restraining order, hire a PI or get a security camera. I think that i'm just going to move!
I woke up today and my myspace was hacked and the yahoo account that i used to register it was hacked as well.
WHAT THE HELL WOULD YOU DO?
Sorry that this is so long but I'm fed up!
- Dec 28, 2007 04:11am by DR.T - nuts .. haha Location: KCMO
Dawg......that is some SERIOUS SHIT.....I never had so much compassion for another person on this site until now....man...
Heres what I would do. Moving would solve it. especially if you like where you're at. Of course I would setup cameras. Cuz evidently she ain't gonna quit. So the cameras would be a good place start. MORE THAN ONE! And then turn in to the police.
Or if you're real bold, try to confront her in person and try to solve the project with logic and love. That really the only way to fight insanity.....aside from death.....and Im tired of brothers going to jail so...you might wanna just try talking to her.
But then again if she really does want to kill you....then that might not be good.
- Dec 28, 2007 06:21am by swayzorbladez - www.myspace.com/swayzorspitsbladez
dude... That is some SERIOUS fucked up shit!
I think I could get a VHS recorder you could plug in and post up somewhere..
try to buy some bear traps..
AND you shouldn't have to completely move because of another person.. BUT after all that I would have..
if you want the vhs lemme know
- Dec 28, 2007 06:25am by NRG - livin the art that is life !
www.64111clinic.com fam
www.nrginmotion.com massage
www.myspace.com/nrginmotion world community Location: havenhouse KCK/ 64111 Clinic 4 Life
1. make out a police report and get a restraining order against that bitch and stay the fuck away from her Vert.
2. Document all the things you listed she has done to you, make copies, give the police, 2 of yo best friends, and me a copies of that shit.
3. Look inside yoself to see if there is some way you are drawing this mess to yourself over and over again. find that shit and make a change like the "MAN IN THE MIRROR" starting right now
4. get some rest man life is too short for all this DRAMA
my 2 cents
nrg
- Dec 28, 2007 08:38am by Reach. - Peace and oneness,
www.emceereach.com
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Call me tomorrow Dirge. Shoot me an email if you don't have my celly...
I'll give it to you.
I know a cat that did some private investigating. I think he can help us.
Vert's not bringing this on himself. Old girl's just crazy.
This has gone on for YEARS!!!
- Dec 28, 2007 09:03am by Deta!L - I just said that so you would stop bothering me.
fuck all this bullshit, choke that bitch out asap, foreal, she will never fuck with you again...guaranteed (cajun accent)...choke her out and start crying and ask her why she's making you do this!
- Dec 28, 2007 10:07am by NRG - livin the art that is life !
www.64111clinic.com fam
www.nrginmotion.com massage
www.myspace.com/nrginmotion world community Location: havenhouse KCK/ 64111 Clinic 4 Life
[quote:9876846251="Reach."]Vert's not bringing this on himself. Old girl's just crazy.
This has gone on for YEARS!!![/quote:9876846251]
not what I'm saying reach,
- Dec 28, 2007 02:35pm by JKR70 - [img:66e766d8cb]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v696/JKR70/LVSIGNATUREBANNER.jpg[/img:66e766d8cb]
WWW.HUMANCROPCIRCLES.NET
WWW.MYSPACE.COM/HUMANCROPCIRCLES
WWW.MYSPACE.COM/JKR70 Location: KcK
Damn man,Im sorry to hear that this is STILL going on, Talk to you tonight at the show.
I can loan you a video and a web camera.
- Dec 28, 2007 02:42pm by DR.T - nuts .. haha Location: KCMO
And if all else fails....... if you do see her in person..... "LEONIDAS KICK" THE BITCH IN HER CHEST!
- Dec 28, 2007 03:19pm by Deta!L - I just said that so you would stop bothering me.
why don't you get some of the style girlz on her, or battler her in a breakdance contest
both badjokes 😳
- Dec 29, 2007 01:43am by beatbroker - -beatbroker
HHA/Symbol Heavy/IN crew Location: KCMO
you just need some new shoes.
- Dec 29, 2007 02:12am by phism
[quote:83f04f62c0="Deta!L"]fuck all this bullshit, choke that bitch out asap, foreal, she will never fuck with you again...guaranteed (cajun accent)...choke her out and start crying and ask her why she's making you do this![/quote:83f04f62c0]
haha, hey it could work. fight crazy with crazy.
i got stalked a little bit in college. but after i peaced (read: "failed") out of there, it was done.
you haven't actually seen her in the act for any of this? i think you need some sort of camera on you at all times, in case you do.
i'm wondering how she has the resources to do all this shit on the internet, and all that anonymous phone stuff. you could probably track some of the internet things if you were nerdy enough, but i can't really help you with that.
have you considered calling her and trying to talk to her (in a public place)? she might still have a weakness for you or something. maybe you can hook her up with someone you hate.
- Dec 29, 2007 02:53am by Whatsgood
Def file a report and set up a camera.
- Dec 29, 2007 10:27am by phism
also, she's probably reading this and wallowing in glory.
- Dec 30, 2007 05:24pm by Lucidialect
Dirge got that magic touch a crazy ass bitch just can't live without.
😆
I agree that if you were on the other end of this relationship, your ass would be in jail by now. I think men being stalked by women is not taken seriously. Were she to attack you and you beat her ass, you would also find yourself in the slammer. Not really fair. That is how it is.
I agree with Phism, this sort of attention is what feeds her. That she could haunt you for three years straight, and still be ruining your life, will surely fuel another three years of endless torment.
I think that the best advice, though hardest probably to follow, would be to utterly ignore her. Once you are showing no signs of torment, she'll get bored. The hatred fueling this girl's fire will die off once you stop feeding it.
And Necia's right about documenting this whole thing. Take photos of the writing on your door, take pictures of the damage to your car, save text messages, e-mails, and everything.
You should be able to track the ip addresses involved in the online attacks. You have to find someone who does this sort of thing though. She obviously has someone helping her, or she's very intelligent, and you just fucked over the wrong broad. Either way, you can fight fire with fire, but need help.
Think it through. Set a trap. She'll fall into it. Crazy people always do. She wants confrontation. She wants you to know it's her. She's not going to stop until you two have it out face to face.
Just be careful dukes, she probably wants you to beat her up and get arrested.
Good luck man.
- Dec 30, 2007 06:46pm by Blam Location: Kansas City, MO
[quote:5f18c08754="beatbroker"]you just need some new shoes.[/quote:5f18c08754]
I almost lost it after drews comment. comedy
you can hire me to find out. you can pay me in vinyl or blunts.
I will dispose of the body and everything.
- Dec 30, 2007 08:42pm by NRG - livin the art that is life !
www.64111clinic.com fam
www.nrginmotion.com massage
www.myspace.com/nrginmotion world community Location: havenhouse KCK/ 64111 Clinic 4 Life
[quote:cb8af2fea9="NRG"][quote:cb8af2fea9="Reach."]Vert's not bringing this on himself. Old girl's just crazy.
This has gone on for YEARS!!![/quote:cb8af2fea9]
not what I'm saying reach,[/quote:cb8af2fea9]
ok, got some time so will try to further explain what I really meant by this
[quote:cb8af2fea9]3. Look inside yoself to see if there is some way you are drawing this mess to yourself over and over again. find that shit and make a change like the "MAN IN THE MIRROR" starting right now [/quote:cb8af2fea9]
first I am not "blaming the victim" when I make this statement, I am simply calling for Vert to take some time to self reflect upon his actions during this time. If a person is barebone honest with themselves during times like these, self awareness can be gained.
Denial is not a river in ________, ya know. We often live soooo externally, we forget that we are apart of the play and need to check our own script to make sure we're true to the role we desire for ourselves.
with that said, a tool I use for self reflection is to notice that I am experiencing things I know I don't want in my life and ask myself " how am I this or that way"? Have I ever done this to someone consciously or unconsciously? How can I make a change in my perceptions, behavior, and words that might make a difference for the future?"
Most people say the following without really grasping the realness of its implication: "You can only change yourself, you can't change other people's behavior or thinking". I hear this fly off the tongues of many folk, almost like rain from the sky without the slightest thought of what they are really saying. like stay up or hey man
if words reflect action and action reflects creating the end result, why would that not be true here?
I'm just saying, being conscious is preferred and that consciousness begins with SELF reflection. No matter how you do it, just DO IT especially when your life is not reflective of who you know you are.
ok done and thanks for entertaining the thought
peace
nrg
- Dec 30, 2007 09:00pm by phism
[quote:1101a96100="Lucidialect"]I think that the best advice, though hardest probably to follow, would be to utterly ignore her. Once you are showing no signs of torment, she'll get bored. The hatred fueling this girl's fire will die off once you stop feeding it.[/quote:1101a96100]
i had an english teacher once talking about how the opposite of love isn't hate, it's apathy.
which means that ignoring her will 1) work, or 2) make her more hurt and furious.
so, i don't know.
fuck her sister.
- Dec 31, 2007 02:51am by Krisna - "We live in an intensely political age and theory and historical experience show us that the condition of any artistic development is an uncompromising hostility to the values of Stalinism and to those of American bourgeois society."
-CLR James
Clarence, I'm really sorry to hear that bro. That is awful. I wish there was something I could do or could be done. This will probably require some witty thinking on your part and not the traditional measures. Several have suggested restraining orders, but as you said, you can't do that unless you catch her in the act. I don't think meditation is gonna do that for you, but maybe give you some kind of temporary peace of mind. I don't know what it will take, but it will take some protracted thought, my man. Protracted thought. My thoughts are with you.
- Dec 31, 2007 07:05am by Reach. - Peace and oneness,
www.emceereach.com
www.myspace.com/reach
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www.cdbaby.com/cd/reachmusic Location: Kansas City
A friend told me you should seek out legal counsel for the restraining order.
She said they have leverage you wouldn't in getting that done.
I'm still hunting my dude (the former PI) down.
I'll keep you posted.
