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Relationship Building in the Music Business
Schooled to the Game (part 2): Relationship Building in the Music Business
Written by Jan Kodadek
Wednesday, 06 July 2005
One of the most challenging parts of this business is establishing a relationship with the people whom you respect. Having their business card does not mean you have a relationship. Only when their assistant will put your call through without a fight or an hour of begging, do you have a relationship. This will take time and dedication.
Keep a database of your contacts. Record key facts as you learn about them, such as their birthday, spouses and children’s names, as well as how you met them. This is especially useful when they want to wax poetic on how you met. If you are really through, keep track of their favorite color, sports, clothing and shoe size, so that you can grease them when you have swag appropriate to their interests. Back up your database!
Stay in touch with people, especially when you don’t need anything from them. Phone is the best way, since nothing beats hearing a person’s voice, although other methods are acceptable as well. That doesn’t mean calling every week with nothing to contribute. Avoid annoying people whom you don’t work with directly, by touching base every two months or so. If someone hasn’t called you back or returned your email in several months, they either don’t remember you or don’t want to speak to you. Respect their choice and leave the possibility to rebuild the relationship in the future.
Another good way to stay present in people’s lives is to email them articles of interest. That doesn’t mean sending articles every day or anything that they would read in the course of doing business (i.e. anything from Billboard), but rather something more obscure or related to a personal interest. It will also show you were paying attention when your friend mentioned his love for fly fishing. Remember birthdays and send a note… It’s the little things that count.
Don’t gossip. It’s acceptable to share information with other people, but only what you know for a fact to be true. Gossip is spreading information (or anything personal in a business setting) that might not be true- usually whatever your uncle’s baby mama’s brother told you. Share your experiences, but don’t talk *ish- it’s never respected in any business.
Build a vast and diverse network. Never disrespect anyone for what they do – you never know when you might need an ally in that position.
Aim to be the go-to person for everything; introduce people, make recommendations and refer your contacts to each other. That means introducing your real estate friend to the business associate who is looking for an apartment. Both parties benefit and you will get the credit for bringing them together. Don’t be stingy with your contacts- share liberally and you will be remembered for it.
Ask for a favor when you need it, but give your contact the space to say no without making them feel bad. Don’t expect people to remember the favors that you did for them in the past- I guarantee that they won’t and trying to remind them will just be annoying. If you ever want a favor paid back, you must ask for it when someone asks for a favor from you.
Have integrity. That means doing what you say you will do, by when you say you will do it. Honor your word as your life and you we become know for being reliable, a rare trait in this business. If you can’t do a favor for whatever reason, simply say no, instead of saying “I will try.” Give that person the chance to get it done by someone else.
Learn the difference between an industry acquaintance, a professional contact and a friend:
· Acquaintances are the people whom you party with at record release parties, but you don’t know much about them- they will relate to you by your favorite drink, the last party that you attended and/ or whatever gossip you share. Sometimes you have their number and sometimes you don’t, but you rarely call them.
· Professional contacts are people whom you know strictly through business- they will relate to you by your job, your side hustle or whatever waves you are making in the business. These are the people who will fall back when you lose your job and be your friend again when you get a newer, sexier one.
· Friends are the people who you actually go to the movies with when you are not at work. You share information on parties, jobs, news and put each other in contact with anyone who can help advance your careers. You give each other a boost when you need it and they will be your cheerleader when your project gets hot. Be loyal and look out for your friends. Note that sharing should be mutual- anyone who takes, takes, takes and never gives is playing you.
Respect the fact that relationships change as people advance in their careers. Someone who was once a friend might develop relationships in a different part of the business or outgrow you (or vice versa) and your relationship with them might fade. Remember that no one owes you anything, no matter how much you did for their career. Don’t take it personally, it’s always business.
Lastly, don’t forget about your friends who are not in the music business- they are the ones who will help you feel strong through your first layoff, your deal falling through, being abused by an arrogant artist, your second layoff, your boss sending you out for triple lattes at midnight, your third layoff, etc They are the ones who will love you unconditionally and not just because your producer is hot right now.
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